"From the Shadows to the Spotlight: Finding My Voice and Reclaiming My Dreams"

Growing up in a small town, I always felt awkward, out of place, and waaay too tall. By the time I hit 8th grade, I stood at 5'10", towering over just about everyone. If being a teenager wasn't awkward enough, my lanky limbs and height screamed "overachiever" when all I wanted was to blend in with the crowd. The teasing came with the territory. Kids can be brutally creative. They'd taunt me with, “You’re so flat the walls are jealous!” and “How’s the weather up there?” So, I did what anyone would do—I shrunk myself. Not literally (believe me, I tried that too), but in all the ways that counted.

My parents, bless their hearts, weren’t dreamers. Stability was their mantra. My dad worked a 9-to-5 factory job painting motors for the same company for 45 years, and my mom made sure we got to school and came home to a warm meal. We never owned a home, as my parents believed owning one was for the rich, not for us. Growing up with meager means, dreaming big wasn’t practiced. I was encouraged to get good grades and go to college to become a good secretary. My sisters and I just went to school, got good grades, and waited for the day when we could venture out on our own and finally start living.

After high school, an opportunity to model came my way—something that would finally make my height an asset, not a liability. Agencies wanted to sign me, and the idea of working in Paris to expand my portfolio was dangled in front of me like a golden ticket. But my parents thought it was foolish and too risky, so I turned it down. A few years later, a chance to model in Japan came up. By then, I had a boyfriend who threatened to break up with me if I went. So, I let other people's fears and insecurities become my own, and just like that, I put my dreams back on the shelf.

That’s when the cycle of limiting beliefs really set in. I started to believe I wasn’t meant to do anything extraordinary. I thought I was supposed to play it safe, take up as little space as possible, and support others from the sidelines. I attracted guys who saw my dreams as threats to their own insecurities. Each relationship reinforced the idea that I was only meant to play the supporting role—the silent partner who lets others shine because that’s what "good" girls do, right? Once I became a mom at 25, dreaming would have to wait because caring for my beautiful daughter as a single mom became the only goal.

Then along came Mr. Driven. When we met, he owned a financial services business and had a larger-than-life personality. His confidence filled the room, and I couldn’t help but be drawn to him. Marrying him felt like stepping into a different world. As our relationship grew, so did his ambitions. He expanded from financial services into public speaking, writing books, and hosting his own radio show. And as his dreams became my goals, I grew content working behind the scenes, making things happen. I was no longer hiding in someone’s shadow, but I was still the invisible partner, supporting his vision while unbeknownst to him I was putting my own on hold. I told myself that helping him succeed was enough, that I didn’t need my own spotlight. I convinced myself that being behind the scenes was where I belonged, finding satisfaction in creating his websites, publishing his books, producing his radio show and turning his ideas into tangible resources. But deep down, I knew there was more I wanted to do, more I wanted to be.

It took a while, but eventually, I couldn't ignore the feeling any longer. I didn’t just want to be known as someone's supportive wife; I wanted to be recognized for my own achievements. There was a spark inside me that longed to shine on its own—something not linked to his name or the success we built together—something that was completely, uniquely mine. I’m incredibly grateful for the past 20 years working alongside Jay, as it allowed me to explore and learn things I never imagined. Through those experiences, I developed a wide range of skills and became a one-woman creative powerhouse. Even now, I look forward to the continued growth I know we're headed for.

All that said, here I am, standing tall (all 5’10” of me), embracing the awkward, the different, the dreamer in me. This is my declaration: I exist. I am here. And I am ready to shine! Are you ready to do the same?

Three Steps to Overcoming Insecurities:

1. Own Your Story: Yep, even the cringe-worthy, awkward moments are yours, so own them! They’ve made you who you are. Sure, those insecurities shaped parts of your life, but guess what? They don’t get to write your future. You do.

   
   

2. Find Your Tribe: Hang with the ones who get your dreams and hype you up. Say goodbye to the energy vampires who drain your sparkle. Find those who lift you up and push you to be the best version of yourself.

   
   

3. Take Action: Feel the fear, but don’t let it call the shots. Step out of your comfort zone and see what magic happens. Even baby steps can start to shatter those self-imposed limits. You’ve got this!

We all have that inner voice urging us to step out of the shadows. Limiting beliefs and insecurities encourage us to play it safe, to survive rather than thrive. But it’s time to take up space, dream big, and be unapologetically ourselves. Because our stories, dreams, and voices matter. And we are more than enough just as we are.

Don’t think these tips will work for you? Well, let me ask you this…are you feeling inspired right now? If you are, it’s because I stepped out of my own insecurities to write this for you. So go ahead, take the leap. You’ve got more power inside you than you think!